Feeling Guilty (DD-1)

I really don’t know if I actually feel bad for her at this point, or if she deserves to be in that kind of place. I personally believe no one should be put in there unless they committed murder. Yes she’s done things to make my family different, but it’s not her it’s the drugs that have done this to her. Maybe I’ll never fully understand why she turned to that kind of coping and I probably never will understand. Getting letters from her basically begging for us to not give up on her is something that I can’t handle. I just want to be able to not stress over this anymore, but the fact that people are still continuing to talk about it and make bigger deals about it isn’t helping at all. Especially since a teacher decided to talk about it to his class is something I find so beyond rude. It’s not the fact that I can’t handle people talking about it, it’s just that you would expect teachers to be a least a bit more mature about things. I would have thought my senior year would be actually relaxing for once and not have a terrible year, but obviously I thought too soon. Maybe one day things will eventually get better, but it just seems like at this point nothing will get better. People always say when things get worse, it has to get better. Well, at this point I just believe everything is a lie. I would have thought I would have loved her being in jail because she deserved to be, but I just feel like a terrible person for letting something like this get this far. I know it’s something that I don’t have the control of, but I would have thought I could of done something.